Facts about Russian women

     So you've made up your mind to marry a Russian Woman. But first you should mention the fact that Russian means different culture, different traditions different code of behaviour. Russian Women think in a different way, sometimes their wishes, their aspirations and motives are completely opposite to those that women in other countries have. We understand that there are certain stereotypes concerning Russians in general and Russian Women in particular. Many of these stereotypes are far from reality, but some peculiarities of Russian character and life realias leave their imprints on the character, lifestyle and life values of a Russian Woman. Let's try to understand Russian Women, while keeping in mind that every person is a unique creature.

    It is considered that a Slavic Woman can become a perfect wife, that means being loving and tender to their husbands they are kind and caring mothers to the children and good keepers of the home hearth. When a husband comes home in the evening he finds his house clean, the food prepared for him and a beautiful loving woman playing with children. Isn't it a dream? It happened to become a dream not only for western men but for Russian women as well, because western women became more oriented on the career and Russian men lost certainty in their ability to provide for the future family due to the difficult economic state. Women are also hesitant about taking such serious step as creating a family, being insecure of the possibility to provide their children with good education, healthcare and living conditions. You know that even lodging is a huge problem for a young family in Russia and other countries of Former Soviet Union. So it's natural that the interest of western men to Russian women has greatly increased during the last few years. And those men that choose to look for a wife in Russia get very lucky because they manage to win the heart of young beautiful slim trendy and well-educated Russian brides that are dreaming of security, stability and happy family life a good future for their children.

    On average, young Russian women are slimmer than their western coevals. FSU women are used to preparing food at home, they have not become the victims of the fast food. In addition to this the most of Russian women make use of public transport and walk a lot. In spite of the comparatively low salaries Russian women spend a lot of money on expensive make-up and clothes. Many of them keep to a diet or go in for sports to stay in a perfect shape. They do so not only to win the hearts and catch admiring glances of men, they think that keeping up with the latest trends in fashion magazines, television and advertising is absolutely necessary to be "compatible" with their female friends. But they have also realized the importance of leading a healthy life-style and having up to date looks. It is considered that a girl who knows how to dress up and attend herself has a lot more chances to get married. Besides many of them learn how to sew or knit from the very childhood because these skills are thought to be of a great demand if one wants to dress up at minimum expenses. But the Russian woman ability to sew or to cook is not enough for a successful marriage.

    Some of the professions stated in the girls' profiles can seem quite impressive or sometimes even really misleading. That's why we would like to turn your attention to serious differences in the salary amount, prestige, and duties performed by the people of the same profession in different countries. A Russian doctor can have a very good qualification and education and get a paltry salary. But at the same time there is a very little possibility for a Russian doctor to become a doctor in the US or elsewhere. An economist in Russia is not at all the same as in the USA. More often it's a clerk performing duties similar to those of an accountant. Most of women, interested in marriage with a foreign partner, are ready to change the profession or even stay at home, dedicating themselves to the family, husband, children and of course finding time for herself.

    According to the statistics the majority of women in FSU have got a job. Sometimes women even happen to be breadwinners. But digging deeper into the reasons for that we find that most women in Russia work not for career they work to get money. Finances in Russian families with children are often so touch-and-go even with both spouses working that some women do not even use all the unpaid maternity leave to which they are legally entitled because their families cannot afford to live on the husband's salary alone.

    The attitude to money on behalf of FSU women may seem unusual to you. A lot of western men are afraid of scam and that fear creates serious problems in communicating with FSU women. If you really like a girl you shouldn't be afraid to seem too romantic. Send her flowers, candies or presents to show your affection. Of course words are important, but your deeds are the best token of your feelings. At the same time we recommend to avoid sending money directly to ladies if you have never met, even if the reason seem cogent enough (illness, visa, travel expences, internet expences, small salary etc). But don't be shocked if she expects you to pay for her at the restaurant, theatre or for a taxi. Paying for a woman at a date is a normal way of courteous behaviour. FSU women expect it from a man and there aren't any "evil intentions". It's a typical dating rule in FSU. If you don't want to pay for her at a restaurant or you don't want to pay for your correspondence, she will never believe that your intentions are serious. If a woman doesn't allow you to pay for her meal or other expences, most liklely she is not ready for a serious relationship yet and doesn't want to feel some obligations towards you. And there is one more thing that you should know about money and FSU women. FSU women are accustomed to be the binding force in the family and in most families the women take almost complete responsibility for managing the household (probably because practically all money are spent for food, clothes and home expences), that's why Russian husbands give their salary to their wives as the matter of course, because the family budget is usually common and is managed also by the wife. Let it not confuse or shock you. It can be different in your family of course. Unfortunately constant lack of finance and frequent economical crises haven't taught Russian women to plan a budget. And sometimes when there is money it is often spent in a hasty way under the influence of moment wishes or urgent needs. That is one of the most frequent reasons for misunderstanding in international families. You will have to find a happy medium in order not to let your girlfriend use you without a shame and at the same time you mustn't seem too greedy or being unable to enjoy life. For instance don't be surprised when your girlfriend orders a big portion of ice-cream but doesn't eat it even to a half. Big portion brings more pleasure but the girl can't eat a lot because she wants to stay in a good shape. Such girl DOES NOT blow off your money, she just tries to enjoy the time spent with you.

    Gentlehood, attention and courtesy are the qualities with the help of which a well-bred man is differ from others. That is natural and courteous for a man here to help a woman get off a buss or open a door in front of her or help her with the overcoat, not necessarily he should be dating her at the time. In Russia you're expected to treat a woman like a lady. An expression "to win a woman" would make a perfect sense to describe your attitude to a Russian woman you are courting. She is waiting for your initiative, ability to take up decisions and wants to feel desired and fought for.

    This chapter is closely connected with age difference issue. The phenomenon of ageing and attitude to it is different here. Russians sort of grow up faster then Europeans and Americans. That has more to do with self- perception then looks. We get married, have children, and start thinking about career, own business, having property and settling down in life in general earlier then our coevals in other countries. Even though it is changing at the moment, most people are married and have kids by the age of 30. However they can continue living with their parents. But that is influenced by the factor of poor economy in most FSU countries. Russian women start thinking about marriage and having their own family much earlier and appear to be more mature in many life situations than the girl of the same age in your country. So do not be surprised if a 23-year-old girl tells you things you would expect to hear from a lady that is 10 years older.

    Another thing that causes a lot of arguments is the problem of age difference. We can't say that all the Russian women a nd girls share the same attitude to the difference in age with their future husband. But there are a lot of young beauties, trying to find a tower of strength, a husband, able to provide a good life level and education to future children and who could be a bread-winner in case of need (not all the women can find an appropriate job without language knowledge and without experience of living in a foreign country). A lot of men "from West" that are above 40 match this ideal perfectly. Nevertheless it's not advisable to waste your time on correspondence with girls who are 20+ years younger than you. Most likely she will be interested in the beginning but than she will probably realize that you have too little in common. But if you're ready to keep on trying than you've got a chance to make things work. But isn't it better to find a woman who is a bit older but looks no worse than a young student but who's got life experience and rich inner world and who will sincerely cherish your relationships.

    Internet dating itself is different from that in usual life, but dating a person from another country, with different life style, mentality, culture is a lot more different and requires patience, understanding, flexibility and tolerance. There may be various reasons why you are searching for a partner in CIS country, and why Russian women are looking for a husband abroad. It could be classified as a combination of cultural, economic, political, personal factors in a great way influenced by mass culture and mass media. Anyway in each case the reasons would be different and any standards can appear to be incorrect. Based on our experience we would like to give some pieces of advice to those who started this endeavor and help them foresee the factors and analyze risks they might have not considered from the start. Internet pages are full of sad and happy stories about international marriages, and we wish your personal story and your life with your loving Russian wife to be happy. The 1st thing you should do is to analyze your expectations. What you expect from a woman, your partner, a Russian woman in particular. The main reason of unhappy marriages between western men and Russian women is the discrepancy of the Russian women's expectations and desires and hopes of western men. It is not a secret that there is a widespread opinion among Russian women that life abroad is easy and beautiful and all men are wealthy, kind and match the description of Mr. Right. In their turn men tend to think that all Russian ladies are home bodies, dependent on husbands and live in extreme poverty, so that life in a developed country will look a paradise for them. It would be hard to blame anyone for this as mass media and propaganda affect the opinions and people seldom search for alternative information. When you browse the catalogues the 1st thing that makes a great impression is an outstanding beauty of the women at pictures. The truth is that they are beautiful for real. We have a certain policy that no photos are edited in order to improve a woman's appearance. But you should also take into consideration that before photo session a woman puts make up and is dressed up to look her best. It is hardly possible to look that glamorous in every day life. It is said not to diminish the beauty of Russian women as it is in fact outstanding due to the great mix of nations and the inborn desire to attend herself and look good, but to help you not just focus on a tempting appearance but also consider personal qualities of a lady. There are a lot of good looking and nice ladies in the catalogue that may become the One for you, even though they do not have a model appearance. We often have questions from men how it is possible that top ladies are still available and looking. Taking into account the number of letters they receive, they should have been married already. The reason may be that they are pickier and have higher demands. So don't get caught in an endless loop of the good looks only, search a person. You should also take into account the age of a woman and the age of a partner she is looking for. We strongly advice ladies to approach this issue thoughtfully. It would be strange if a 23 year -old lady would be looking for a 55-year old man. This is not a regular thing either in this country or abroad. Even though a certain age difference is preferable for a Russian woman, it has to be reasonable. You should also be aware why you are looking for a partner much younger then yourself and how this will affect your relationship in future. To have harmonious relationship you should pay attention to the gaps in education and a social status.
The place of living, a life style, interests and goals should be similar. It is not that common when a person from a megapolis would feel comfortable in a rural town or village and vice a versa. Language is one of the most important aspects. Not all Russian women know a foreign language when they start looking for a western partner and get registered with the agency. The agency is of help at the initial stage. But when you develop the relationship and have serious plans for future, it is important for the woman to start learning the language. She should be motivated herself as this is the 1st barrier she will have to overcome to feel comfortable in the relationships and in the country she is going to move. That would sound strange if your Russian partner is not eager to do it. The most important thing is to realize in what extent the expectations of your Russian bride match yours. Many things like family values, responsibilities, financial aspects, having children, woman's employment, in-laws, children should be discussed. We would try to highlight some of them so that you have a better understanding of your Russian bride and can avoid the problems you might have.
Finances can be an issue your Russian bride and you may have different viewpoints about. In this country people are just learning to take loans and tick expenses and in general they have serious attitude towards finances in everyday life. This is explained by the political and economical changes we have experienced not so long ago. Russian people are not used to speaking much about loans, expenses, bills, ets. That is why it may affect your Russian bride negatively when you speak a lot about this, emphasizing how expensive life is. However you should discuss money issues and find out the attitude of your future partner to earning, spending, saving, investments. Even though the situation is changing in modern families the traditional approach is when spouses have the same bank account and expenses are common. Your Russian bride would expect you to be the main provider in a family and support her and children financially, at least in the beginning until she adapts in a foreign country and starts working. You should also take keep in mind that her parents, who stay in her home country, may be retired and she will have to help them financially. And this will be your expense item until she makes a living herself.
Family traditions, children and in-laws
Russian people are close to their parents and you should be ready that your Russian wife will want to communicate with her parents on regular basis and help them financially. She will certainly want to visit home once in a while and have her parents come to visit you. This should also be discussed so that you do not have misunderstanding in future. If some of you or both have children from the previous marriages, you should talk in advance what status a child coming in your country will have and all the legal questions connected with it. If your own children live with you or visit you, your future wife has to be informed about this, their attitude to your marriage and what role she is expected to play in their lives. If you plan to have common children, the language (s) they should speak the culture they should learn is also a common decision of international spouses.
Work and education in a foreign country
It will be up to you and your Russian wife to decide about her employment when she moves to your country. It is good to discuss this in advance as you may think your future wife will be an equal partner sharing all the expenses and paying bills together when she adapts and finds work, whereas she might expect to become a housewife, bring up kids and make a career of a wife. On the contrary you may want to have a dependant wife staying at home and providing a comfortable atmosphere, but your Russian wife is looking for professional development and social life. Thus both of you will experience the conflict of interests. You should know that when a Russian woman moves to your country, where educational standards and job requirements are different she will most likely have to retrain or confirm her education to the standards there, take courses or enter a university to get a good job and you will be the only one to help her both financially and emotionally. A Russian lawyer or doctor will hardly become a lawyer in a western country soon. And a person having professional life here most likely will be looking forward to having it in her current country. So the difficulties and expenses involved have to be well considered.
Information
Unfortunately your Russian bride is not well-informed about your country law system, banking, traditions, life style, citizenship, social standards, ets. A great deal of help if you land a hand in obtaining the real information, speak about the legal status she and her children will have when they come to live in your county, what rights and obligations she will have what she will have to learn. This will help both of you develop trust relationship, make her understand more about the place she is going to live in and help take an educated decision.
The general recommendation is to ask a Russian woman, you are planning to marry, more questions, try to come and visit her in her home city, get acquainted with her parents and friends, see the environment she lives in, learn the things she is used to. Pay attention to what she says about her family, if she feels comfortable in her home country. A person feeling unhappy about everything and criticizing everything, will most likely be unhappy in any country with any partner. We wish you luck in your search of your charming Russian bride and a happy family life. We hope these recommendations will help you to avoid the reefs, you may not be aware of.

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